Marginalize This!!

I am so fucking tired of this election season!!
I just watched the Gay Agenda vlog over on After Ellen but its also up at the visible vote and After Elton. In it they asked the insightful comment of whether it was more radical to have a woman president or an African American man. Yes, they didn't qualify woman with white, because white is THE race and doesn't need to be qualified. I'm so tired of this thinking I'm posting below part of my comment that I left up there.

Let me start off by saying no I don't think that Clinton should withdraw, I really don't think the race has reached that point yet. But what really bothers me is the way that so many people especially Clinton supporters act as if Race is not an issue anymore in this country and this race. Well it is an issue when they want to claim some mystical Black card that the Clintons supposedly got so many years ago.

Is it more radical to have a woman than an African American man? was the question you asked, well tell me this does Clinton have no race? Why does Barack get a racial qualifier and Clinton doesn't? Is her womanhood raceless? Does she have no racial privilege? Oh I'm sorry apparently white privilege doesn't exist anymore, only male privilege.

I don't really care about you being objective or not, but just as you accuse of the media of having a bias towards Obama and ignoring the sexism directed towards Clinton. You two are completely ignoring any racial implications involved in this race. Simply posing the question of is it more radical to have a woman or an African American male. Is building on the assumption that sex oppression is somehow worst than race based oppression. This thinking is what has led to the continued marginalization of Women of color.

I wish that they were the only ones who were doing this, but no Christine Craft manages to be even more offensive in an article for SF Gate. Some of my favorite parts are

While sexism hasn't had the same hideous history of lynchings as its companion "ism," the case can be made that gender bias is even more prevalent, more accepted, more insidious and more likely to die a drawn-out death. The presidential campaign of Hillary Rodham Clinton is this thesis writ large.

and

I was taken aback years ago when I had a conversation with Anita Hill. She told me the most disheartening turn of her righteous objection to the coronation of Clarence Thomas had been the attacks she bore from women. She saw all too clearly then that women were the last n-words, conditioned to denigrate their own kind.

that last one reminded me of an essay that I read in Pearl Cleage's book Deals with The Devil. Where she quotes Yoko Ono saying that Women are the niggers of the world. Pearl brilliantly asked after then what are Black women? I'm so sick and tired of the way this election is shaping discourse!

Then we have Tina Fey saying "Bitch is the new Black!" Please someone tell me what the FUCK that is supposed to mean?

This should be an amazing and exciting time for the first time ever we have a White woman and a Black man who could actually gain the democratic nomination and even win! But, instead of being excited and motivated I'm reminded that as a woman of color I'm invisible. And my identity as a Queer woman of color is inconceivable but so many people, because everyone knows that all the women are white, all the men are Black and all the Queers are white men. But, some of us are more than brave!

The only thing that makes me feel better is that I know that there are other women of color out there of varying sexualities that are fighting to be heard, and won't have our voices marginalized. So here's to them, all the wonderful women that make fighting worth it!

Here's a wonderful quote from the amazing brownfemipower, it was from a post she had up about the Duke case. I love it so much that I frequently use it as an away message

"...I will stand beside any and all violated women of color, unquestioning and without apology, because I, too, am the lying stripper, the useless whore, the backstabbing "sister", the nasty 'ho, the unintelligent blogger, the uppity nigger, the DNA dripping slut.

We'll never shut up, and we'll never go away.

We've sung songs you'll never hear, we've created colors you've never dreamt of, and we know a love that you've killed for but you'll never own."

Oh Sara Ramirez!!

She's Hot, Gay friendly and speaks Spanish.... What more can you ask for. Excuse me Laura for lusting all over you wife, but damn!

A Message from Grey's Anatomy's Sara Ramirez

Obama around the world

Now I'm a reluctant Obama supporter, I am going to vote for him in the primary even though I'm still strongly considering writing in Kucinnich, but if it's Obama or Clinton I'm going Obama. What I love is all the diverse Obama support videos here's a little snippet.
(h/t vivir latino)

Okay what is with all the drama! So remember the married girl who was trying to talk to me, and through the wise advice of you wonderful readers as well as others I realized that its just a bad idea to get involved. Well she just sent me a message asking why I was avoiding her and if she got her signals crossed. Okay so its true I have been avoiding her but not really, I've responded to all of her text messages, but not her facebook wall comment and her call which she sent right before the text. I'm just a little taken a back that we have to have this relationship type talk when we're not even in a relationship. We haven't even kissed or anything some drunken hand holding and a leg rub really doesn't constitute a situation where a talk needs to occur. Sure we tentatively set up a date but it wasn't an official date and there was no date set up! What the hell is going on!! Now I have to have this stupid conversation about how I'm not going to get involved with her because she's married.

I guess I didn't expect it to go there because nothing really happened warranting a conversation. There's only one girl that I could really see having legitimate reason for us to talk and ask why I'm sending mixed signals because I have. This married girl not so much. Its not really drama just annoying, I really wanted to respond to the text saying its not that serious!! Because it's really not!

I've found the woman of my dreams

Please meet Lyja

Northwestern hates me

Today I saw the letter that I was praying that I wouldn't get, my rejection letter from Northwestern's African American Studies PhD program. It was my first choice and now my second rejection I got rejected from UC Irvine's Culture and Theory program. They were both high on my list and now I'm wait listed at Ohio state and waiting to hear from IU Bloomington and Rutgers. Someone's already heard from IU Bloomington and I haven't heard anything so its not looking promising. I could care less about these other programs but I was just really hoping Northwestern would be a yes. My little cousin is here visiting and she's the only reason that I haven't crawled into bed and stayed there. So yeah things really need to turn around and quick because I really don't have a plan B. I'm not planning on staying in this Godforsaken city I'm in now so it'll be go back home where I don't have a room, get a job and try this whole thing all over again. I'm just pissed and upset and am praying that I get in somewhere, anywhere.

Oh the Wonderfullness

Okay I bow down to the wonderfullness (yeah I did just make that word up and what?!) that is GreyDay. Who is Grey Day you might ask? Well she's the wonderful person behind the Rose Rollins fan blog. She was fortunate enough to actually speak with my future wife (yes I know that we haven't met, and technically she's hetero, but those are just a few minor details). Well my wife is so wonderful that she graciously sent some beautiful pictures of herself to the site and I highly suggest that you go and check them out!

Oh just in case you needed more evidence why me and Rose are meant to be, this is what our daughter will look like once they make the technology available for two women to have children together.




p.s. Grey Day next time you talk to my wife let her know that all the arrangements are being set up in Canada for our fabulous wedding!! ;-)

official bitter single woman I hate valentines day post

This is my official bitter single woman I hate valentines day post.
I found these at Be my anti valentine

yes I'm bitter, and mad the only person that wants me is married and therefore unavailable. But Happy Valentines day to all those who are actually enjoying this holiday with someone they love. Oh and I only have about 400 facebook friends

Advice needed

Help I need advice!!
So here's the deal I like a girl and she likes me, normally it'd all be good but she's married ... to a man. She's bi and I have no issues with that, but her being married worries me. I'm currently not interested in being in a serious long term relationship, especially since I'm moving in some months. So in my head this sounds like a good arrangement, the relationship could only get so serious because she's married and when I commit to someone I want it to be just us two. But I'm afraid that this could all blow up in my face especially since this would be my first relationship with a woman. I just set up a date for the end of this week, am I crazy? Should I walk away? I don't know what to do!! Help

Live Blogging from my bathroom

Live Blogging from my bathroom.

Why am I blogging from my bathroom? Because we currently have a tornado warning and I'm scared. I hear the tornado sirens going as well as other emergency sirens. So I have set up shop in my bathroom and don't plan on leaving until the sirens end. This is scary I'm moving back to the Northeast, I hate the mid west/ south its just not safe.

I HATE being scared

All of my friends know that I tend to be a little scared and slightly paranoid, well today my fears were reinforced. I was sitting at my desk as usual watching TV I had my blinds open and am just enjoying my Sunday. Then I notice some movement by my blinds I look a little closer, because it was right near the staircase towards my neighbors apartment, however, this was not my neighbor. It was another man he moved from in front of my window further back where you can see more clearly in my apartment. He saw me looking and moved away, I was terrified. I didn't know what to do. So I called my best friend and she told me to call the police, and they came and checked the area. They didn't find anything, but I'm still scared. I don't know what he wanted, was he a rapist, a murderer, a murder and a rapist, a peeping tom? I have no idea and it scares me. I have a hammer and a knife next to me, I've barricaded myself in my apartment and no one will get in this apartment without me hearing them. But, despite all these safeguards I'm still worried that he will come back and he will get in. I finally closed my blinds, but I was hesitant to do so because I'd like to at least be able to see if someone is near my home, but I'm not even sure about that.
All the statistics about home invasions are running through my head, the statistic that 1 out of 4 women will be raped in her lifetime, and I worry if I'm going to be that one. I'm scared and I HATE being scared. I don't know what to do, I've never been a fan of guns, but in this moment I understand why people have them. I just want to feel safe and I don't know how.

Patricia Moreno saved my diet!!

Who is this Patricia Moreno you ask? Well she is the woman that saved my exercise routine. It all started with a Borders coupon and my impulses lol. I went to Borders with the intention of getting 40% off a box set, I figured why not get the L word, unfortunately they didn't have it but I ended up buying seasons 1 and 4 my favorite so far. While I'm contemplating the difficult decision of whether to buy the L word or SVU I saw a Gaiam yoga section, they are the company that I bought my yoga kit from so me having a recently deposited pay check decided to go over and see what else I could spend my money on, and I saw a kick boxing yoga fusion DVD and I was won over. I needed something to get me to do more cardio and I heard kick boxing was fun so I figured why not.

Fast forward to me bailing on my friend and deciding to stay home and watch bad lifetime movies. After my movies and my junk food binge I decided to try out this DVD, so I put on my workout gear that I will only wear in the privacy of my own home and got started. I have to say that I really liked the DVD, she was easy to follow and fun to look at. But, enough objectifying her, the point is that she made it fun. I am now a work out video connoisseur, and the yoga videos are all very calming and peaceful, but the cardio/aerobic videos you need them to motivate you. I already own sweating in the spirit and I have to say she comes of as phoney, even when she's supposed to be praising God it seems staged. I didn't realize how much it bothered me until I got this video. When Patrica Moreno says come on you can do it and smiles, its always at a rough part and she seems sincere. The work out was fun, energetic and not too complicated. It was also a lot of fun to do. So I do believe that I have found a workout video that works for me.

Exercise is not for big girls!

Okay so I'm on this let's get healthy and lose 50 lbs by the time I start my PhD program (hopefully in the fall) kick. I really need to relax and I've always wanted to try yoga. So not wanting to embarrass myself and on an impulse buy, I bought this starting yoga kit. This kit came with a mat, a block, a strap and a "complete" DVD. The DVD turned out to be a 15min AM work out, a prop work out about another 15min and a small illustration which doesn't really tell you what to do. It sort of assumes you already know. So not being deterred I bought a real beginner yoga DVD. The first one wasn't that bad when I tried it was all the back bends. But today I tried sitting poses and it’s so annoying because they were not made for big girls, matter of fact curvy people. I wish that this problem was only in yoga, but my senior year I took Karate and had the same problem. What was that problem you asked? My curves get in the way! In karate when we would be asked to bring our arms all the way to our chest, my chest would get in the way. I would get so frustrated because my instructor would tell me to bring it over closer when it was just impossible. The last bra I fit was a 40 DDD, now a few months ago I went to buy some more and yeah they didn't fit anymore. So I'm well endowed to say the least. I'm also not lacking in the butt area, I'm not saying this to tell everyone how curvy I am, but to say I've got more than your average girl. So what am I to do when they require your back to completely flat against the ground, its just not possible!

Are there any workout programs that know how to deal with an amply blessed woman lol? I'm just sick in tired of being completely frustrated by exercise programs that work on the premise that every person doing them has a small to average chest, and a flat butt! I know I'm not the only one! Ladies tell me your stories, has anyone overcome this?

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

There are a lot of things going on in my mind, that I would love to post about but I don't really feel like being that vulnerable online. So instead I wanted to post about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". It should be clear to everyone that this is a failed policy and it has serious reprecussions on the lives of many individuals who choose to enlist in our armed forces. Now I would never join the military and am very much against any of my friends or family members joining. However, I do have respect for those who find the military a noble cause and are willing to risk their lives for this country. This issue has been at the forefront of alot of online discussions I've seen recently because of the L word storyline involving my future wife Rose Rollins. Rose as you know plays Capt. Tasha Williams on the L word, who is currently dealing with being investigated for homosexual conduct. Last week she did an amazing job in this scene where she confronts her lawyer who doesn't really believe that she should be in the military because she's a lesbian. Enjoy my wife at work.



Amazing, right?!

I also love watching the Vlog "She Got me Pregnant" I just like it, I am definitely not considering having children anytime soon, and sometimes question whether I want children at all. But its still a nice vlog, anyway this week they dealt with Don't Ask Don't tell and told a gut wrenching story about a family suffering under this policy. It's very moving and I definitely suggest you all watch it. When you're done go over to the Mombian website and read the full article.

Mombian Vlog 01-24-08
Uploaded by drudolph

After watching that I went and looked up the presidential candidates on "Don't Ask Don't Tell", and I wish I could say that I was surprised at the republican response. I have to say though I was pissed, because the republicans dodged the question and then dared to say the policy is working! Clearly they haven't done their research anyway here's the youtube clip ... enjoy?



And a response



So just some food for thought.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

I was thinking about what to post to commemorate Martin Luther King Jr Day. I feel like I should post something because I'm a Black blogger, and because I also admire Martin Luther King Jr. But, I've come to hate what this holiday has become. Its become a day for people to ignore the true radical message of Dr. King and try to fill the huge void in the American Education system with regards to People of Color. Growing up this holiday always meant the teachers making us look around in our semi diverse classroom and claim that Dr. King's dream has been realized. So instead of writing a post about that I think this picture of George W. Bush talking to a young Black girl about the importance of Dr. King best summarizes my feelings, especially in the girl's face.

Things I did instead of sleeping or doing work:

Things I did instead of sleeping or doing work:

• Watched every youtube video I could find on Staceyann Chin
  
• Worked out to Sweating in the Spirit
  
• Cleaned my kitchen
  
• Used my new washer and dryer to do laundry
  
• googled Helena's hot cell mate on the L Word Lucia Rijker
• Started cleaning my living room until I spotted a waste belt I bought for working out which inspired me to begin working out at 3:30 am
  
• Began writing this post
  
• Wondered what the hell is wrong with me and why I decided to pull an all nighter for no apparent reason
• Realized that staying up til 5am (again for no apparent reason) and working out gives you a headache
  

Clearly I need help!

Little Dragon

Okay I'm pretty sure Hanifah & Olive should put me on their street team lol, but everyone should definitely donate $20 so they can get the U People card. With this card you get to download a mixtape by a different woman DJ each month. The first one was done by DJ Reborn from Ubiquita NYC. The whole mix is amazing I love every song up there. But a couple of songs kept catching my attention and when I went to the site where they had a track listing I found out it was from some group called Little Dragon. So like anyone else would do I goggled them and then found their Myspace page, after listening to a few songs I'm hooked. They are absolutely amazing! This song in particular is so beautiful I could cry.



Now I haven't paid enough attention to the video to understand it, but the song by itself is beautiful.

Yay Rose/Tasha!!

Wonderful slide show made by Grey Day at the Rose Rollins Fan page.

| View | Upload your own

Can a girl catch a break!

Shelley Nicole's Blak Bushe

Oh What a Night

Last night I was fortunate enough to attend a fund raiser concert for the amazing Documentary UPeople. Which was Directed by Hanifah Walidah and Olive Demetrius. The movie was incredible and I was fortunate enough to be in the NYC area, so I could head to Bed Stuy to Solomon's Porch and enjoy this amazing concert. So here's my long winded recap of the night followed by a link at the end to where you can watch it all yourself.

Unfortunately I get star struck really REALLY BAD! Its really ridiculous, but I had been preparing myself, I watch their weekly Vlogs and absolutely love them. So I was preparing myself to see Olive Demetrius, Hanifah Walidah and Gloria Bigelow but when I saw them I was in shock. I couldn't help but stare at them as they walked by. So if any of you are reading this I was the weird girl staring lol. So as I sat in shock as they walked by my friend reminded me to be cool and not act like the dork I really am. Then the show starts and Gloria Bigelow does an amazing job, she had me cracking up and I still couldn't believe that I got to see her live. Then Hanifah Walidah came on and DAMN! She did an amazing job! The music was on point her energy was incredibly high and her performance was impeccable! When she brought Olive her partner up there for the song "Do you mind" it was so cute. You can see the love emanating from them. I was sitting right next to the window and then I turn and who is outside listening? Toshi Reagon, I was really worried for the other artists because I just couldn't see how anyone could follow that up, but they more than held their own.

Next up we had Shelley Nicole's Blak Bushe, unfortunately I was in the back and the place was packed so I couldn't see her hot legs everyone kept talking about. Her performance was hot though. She started out with a song that made me mad that I was single, and then continued on with my new stressed out life sucks song Black Girls which is on the U People soundtrack. She was amazing, she just picked up the guitar and was jamming the whole crowd was so into it. Then in the middle of her set who walks in? None other than Macy Gray (remember me and how star struck I get, yeah you can only imagine). Shelley Nicole was just amazing!

More on me an my Star struckness, as Shelley nicole finishes her set the couple that was sitting next to me and my friend get up and leave. I see the guy motioning towards someone telling them that there are two seats and then Tika Milan walks over and sits down right next to me. I wanted to say something, I wanted to say I really liked her on I'm from Rolling Stone, I wanted to say she had a cool shirt which she did, but all I did was get really stiff and try to ignore her. I was so nervous I couldn't even smile lol. I did manage to say something to her, when I was waiting to sign my check I asked her for a pen.... I know, monumental conversation.

Next up was Honey Larochelle, and I had seen her on last weeks podcast and she wasn't shy but I did not expect her to have so much energy on stage. She was absolutely amazing, her voice was beautiful and all of the horns. Her song about her mother's advice was so beautiful and touching.

After it was all over, everyone was selling CD's and unfortunately I had less the money than I thought and ran out of money before I could get Hanifah Walidah's CD. She handed me a flyer thing for the movie and I got star struck so all I could do was smile. Now mind you I had hyped myself up as to what I was going to say to her. I was going to tell her that I had sent her a myspace message and taken a picture with her and Olive at their New York screening. I wanted to say how great a job she did and how she's such an inspiration. But what did I do? Smile like a big doof.

Overall the night was amazing, it was filled with amazing Queer women of many colors, and there were also Queer men and straight women and men. It was amazing environment. I didn't want it to end. One last tidbit about how star struck I got as I was walking my friend to the bus stop and we were trying to find the right train for her to take we stopped and asked some women and Gloria Bigelow was one of them and again what did I do? Smile like a doof. Eh, next time I will speak. Now go over to U People and watch for yourself and while you over there you should drop some money their way to support the film. Don't forget to watch their weekly podcast/vlog every week either at UPeople-themovie.com or on AfterEllen.com . Here's a picture of me Hanifah and Olive, at the NYC screening of U People in October. You know I gotta keep my identity secret and all so I've done an artistic rendering of me lol