Wednesday, December 30, 2009

New Year

When I was younger, I was frequently told that I talked too much and I've always spoken too fast. So in general I've never been at a loss for words, but recently I have no idea what I want to say. Have you ever found yourself in the position where there are no words that can accurately describe the way you feel? I've been trying to think about a nice end of the year post, but this year has been such a blur. I have no idea how to describe it, I've been so introspective this past year. This year has really been about me. I've found myself in a position that I've never been in before and I have been reexamining pretty much every aspect of my life. But, oddly enough all of this time I've spent thinking about where I am and where I want to go, I find myself unable to clearly say what I want to say. I know that there are words out there that fit my situation, but I'm at a loss. So for this new year I pray for a new me and new opportunities.

Happy New Year All!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

If my life were a paranormal romance novel

If my life were a paranormal romance novel, instead of having these super strong defenses that keep most people at arms length; I would have mental shields that protect me from having my mind controlled. I’d be this super strong kick ass woman who protects those she loves and is actually successful at it. When someone I care for is hurt I’d be able to use my super powers and get vengeance, and everyone would know not to mess with the people I care for. If my life was a paranormal romance novel, at the end of the book. I’d get the girl and the bad guys would lose. But, my life isn’t a paranormal romance novel and sometimes, more often than not, the bad guys win and I can’t protect those I love.

“I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell.” ~Audre Lorde