Book review

I didn't forget about you all or this lovely blog. Things have been crazy in my life and I'm trying to get them all figured out. I have a lot I want to blog about, especially my DC trip, but this past weekend I read to books with Black lesbian main characters and I figured what the hell I might as well review them for you all so here we go. Since you're supposed to give stars and shit when you review something I'm going to give stars(or asterisks since I don't know how to get stars on my Blog) and its out of a possible five.

The first book I read was Manjani by Freedom Speaks Diaspora. ***1/2

Coming from a Black Studies background, I really wanted to read it because it was about a Black Lesbian fighting for the revolution. So I dove in head first anxious to read about a politically aware Black Lesbian, and I have to say overall I really liked it. The story is about the coming of age of a young Black Lesbian named Manjani, now I mention that she's a lesbian, because that's what attracted me to the book in the first place however, she doesn't come out until towards the end of the book. But, sexuality is definitely an issue that is dealt with throughout the whole book. The book really speaks to how gender and sexuality fit into a Black Nationalist paradigm. I have to be honest, that when I struggled with the book a large part of it was because of the heavy Black Nationalist perspective that Manjani was a part of. My own vision of what true liberation means for us as a people and it's not exclusive to the Black community, and therefore not in line with Black Nationalism. However, that's another post for another time. Back to the story, the book carries you through the emotional, spiritual and even physical journey of Manjani as she deals with a family crisis, and tries to live out her socio-political ideals. The story is filled with tons of quintessential Black Nationalist rhetoric that is both refreshing, and entertaining. I was often annoyed by Manjani's attitude, but also loved how she dealt with the "well meaning" White racists she encounters. It highlights a lot of the short comings in Black Nationalist organizations and what happens when your idealic view of the Black community is confronted with the reality of human nature. All in all it was a good read, I felt like the book dragged through her transformation and she went really unchanged for a large portion of the book and then all of a sudden her eyes are open.

This might be due in part to the spiritual journey she is also on throughout the book. I have to be honest I find that part of the book the most riveting and exciting, but also confusing. You are thrust into her world which is completely like ours except that she sees things in the spiritual realm that most people don't. It is such an ingrained part of her life that the author doesn't really give full explanation of. In the beginning she talks a lot about second sight and her journey, but you're not sure if she's speaking literally or metaphorically. I found myself frustrated at times, but ultimately I was rooting for her and eager to see where her journey would take her. I wished that the author would have included more of a lesbian community, rather than just references to other Queer people, but her sexuality really wasn't the focus of this book. It isn't a coming out novel, but rather a coming of age novel and I appreciate the boldness that Manjani possesses and the novel as a whole.

The next book I read was She Slipped and Fell by Shonda. **1/2
I came across this book the same way I did Manjani through Sistah's on the Shelf; really the only resource out there for Black Lesbian fiction. She slipped and fell seemed like it would be a departure from much of the Black Lesbian hood lit that's out there. Which, if you like it then more power to you, I just prefer something different. Anyway, I've had this book for a few months and hadn't gotten around to it until today. I tried to start it a couple of weeks ago, but was turned off by the very first scene where one of the characters is taking a shit. I'm sorry that just grossed me out too much. That may just be my issue, but it definitely made me pause.

She slipped and fell is in short about two friends who fall in love, and try to figure out how to love each other openly. I have to be completely honest and say I absolutely did not like this book for at least the first half of it. I felt like the author was slipping into a lot of the same tired descriptions and notions of beauty concerning the characters. *side rant* I'm so sick and tired of authors having to make one of the characters have light eyes, skin or hair in order to make them extra special and beautiful. My family is filled with people of varying shades of hair, skin and eyes and it adds to their beauty in the same way that anyone else's hair, skin and eyes do. It doesn't make them extra special, and they shouldn't be exoticized because of it! Ok rant over. Back to the story the two main characters Tina and Kendall were refreshing in that they were middle class Black girls, not extra rich and not struggling through the drug game. They were both good students with goals and little to stand in their way. They fall in love and that predictable throws their worlds for a loop, but for me the most interesting part of the book was seeing who they became as adults and how they handled the decisions the made and the tragedies they were dealt. It was a nice coming out story in that you got to see the whole spectrum of coming out, acceptance of self, acceptance by your family and also dealing with being openly gay in the world. I was troubled with the book in that I felt like the author invalidated butch identity, by inferring that because the two main characters were both femme, they were some how not like those Lesbians, and she also played into a lot of the stereotypes surrounding Butch women.

Their emotional maturity that they showed towards the end of the book made the beginning more bearable and even worth it. I found myself going aww at the end instead of throwing the book. I definitely recommend reading it; however don't expect any profound revelations or your world to be changed. It is a nice book to just sit, read and maybe even commune with a story that may or may not have resonated with your own coming out story.

Damsel

Is there room to be both a Radical Queer Woman of Color and a Damsel?

(start at about 4 mins in)


I've been obsessed with Crystal Monee Hall since I saw her at Rivers of Honey a couple of weeks ago. She's amazing and has this song called Damsel which I've been listening to non stop on youtube (since that's the only place I can find it). In her song she tells this woman, that she can love her, show her love and asks her to open her self to her she'll save her. I love everything about this song, her voice, her words and just the groove of it. I would absolutely melt if a woman ever sang this song to me, and I have to admit that the idea of being the Damsel is appealing. How often do we get the opportunity to just be and have someone say don't worry I got you? Now of course, I don't want this all the time 24/7 I want my own agency, but wouldn't it be nice just for a little bit to be able to sit back and just be, and have someone say they're gonna take your distress. Especially as QWOC who in the hell is really offering that?

I guess what really appeals to me about this song goes beyond my own aspirations to have someone save me on some level, but it rekindled the idea that I can still have my own version of a fairy tale. But, My prince doesn't have to be a blond white boy but, a thick beautiful Black Princess with locs and an amazing voice. Oh the possibilities!

Crystal Monee Hall

quick post, Music has become my obsession lately, I find it hard to get through the day without an internal soundtrack. So today I went to WOW Cafe for the monthly even of rivers of honey which is amazing! Olive Demetrius was there and performed and was stunning. But, considering I gush over her and Hanifah enough on this blog I decided to highlight someone new who I'm loving right now! Her name is Crystal Monee Hall and she is one baad bitch! She got up on that stage and shut it down! Here's a little taste courtesy of youtube




Amazing right?! She says she has an album coming out in 2010, and all I know is that my ass is going to be first in line to get it.

From Staceyann Chin

PLEASE POST ON YOUR BLOGS, SITES, LISTS etc. Help us reach the folks we need.

Many of you have already heard about our film, Baby Makes me. For you, this is an update. But for the folks who have not heard Tiona and I are making a documentary together.

For years, I have wanted to become a mother. But the timing has never been quite right. Either my partners weren’t ready, or I was scared, or I couldn’t find a donor or something. There was always something. By the time I rolled into 35, I was tired of being afraid, tired of waiting for the right woman with whom it would be the right time, tired of watching every Christmas roll over another Birthday, tired of watching my peers get knocked up and months later appear with the most amazing little bundle of potential—I was tired of waiting and ready to make the leap, and I was ready to make it alone.

I began the research with great heart—only to discover that there were little no resources for women who either wanted to, or had to embark on the journey of motherhood in the solo. There were one or two essays and a few books on artificial insemination, and some were even directed at lesbians—but most, if not all assumed that the mother would be operating from inside of a partnership, be that partnership heterosexual or homosexual.

The idea for the film came out of a conversation with Tiona to film the pregnancy/labor, assuming that there would be one—because no one, least of all me, knows if my body will cooperate in doing such a thing as conceiving. I envisioned Tiona asking a couple of heartfelt questions and spinning the light to create a high-end home-movie I could show my child at eighteen. She agreed and we began to flesh out some ideas. That conversation, coupled with the lack of resource material out there spurred the project now known as Baby Makes Me.

Baby Makes Me, a feature-length documentary, will explore the challenges and triumphs of Single Motherhood, particularly in the lives of women of color, lesbians and women who make a conscious choice to be mothers in the absence of intimate/romantic partnerships with men.

The film will use as its narrative skeleton, the journey of activist/writer/performer, Staceyann Chin, as she navigates her personal choices with reference to motherhood. Author of the memoir, The Other Side of Paradise, Chin now brings her talents to the medium of film as writer and Executive Producer.

The Director, Tiona McClodden, is a champion of promoting positive images of women in media. Her last film, “Black./womyn.:conversations…”, garnered much respect in both accolades and awards. She now brings her attention to the issue of women and motherhood.

It is our intent to interview a series of women from all the demographic cross-sections. Issues of financial, ethical, medical, cultural, and political relevance will be fore-grounded. We hope that clinics, hospitals, families, children of Black lesbians, straight Black women who want children, mothers of gay women who lament the loss of grandchildren when they discover their daughters are gay, and anybody who seeks to have a clearer picture of the family that includes gay women will see that our lives go on, that women who are single, be they lesbian, or Black or poor, can and do have babies, and that we are simply another group of people who live and laugh and grow. We hope to paint the subjects in the film as human and likable characters who, though they are dealing with slightly different challenges than the women we traditionally see as mothers, are not very different from any other group of people considering parenthood.

We are going to need all the help we can get. We need help in reaching out to folks who would like to be interviewed; other single mothers, women who have been inseminated, women who are thinking about it, women who work in the medical field, women who work in the administrative world of policy etc. We are on the hunt for the all the voices that could represent our story in the film.

We have recently been awarded a grant from ASTREA Lesbian Foundation for Justice and are set to move forward. We write to you now, in the hope that you will want to be involved in this groundbreaking project in whatever capacity you choose: we need space to host fundraisers and screening and other events connected to the film. We need people to fundraise, to promote the film, to host community talks, to suggest topics for discussion in the film—we need to secure additional investors, we need the help of people who are experts in the business of making films, and we need the counter-perspective of people who have never made a film. We are hoping to make this a community effort; from start to finish we want the ideas to be representative of the various factions in our diverse village of the women who mother our children. If you are sure you are unable to do any of the above, we only ask that you make room for our fliers, questionnaires, invitations, and other promotional materials for the film.

We would be honored if you would join us as we attempt to break more ceilings, level more walls to make room those of us who are too frequently left out of the history and imagination of the world we live in. We look forward to a spirited journey with you, from the opening shot to the ending credits—complete with your name listed among the most stalwart of our supporters.

Thanks again to the women who have already offered assistance. We look forward to your being a part of our process.

Staceyann Chin
Executive Producer/Writer, “Baby Makes Me”
Tiona McClodden
Director/Producer, “Baby Makes Me”

Please send all inquiries and requests to: babymakesme@gmail.com

*I love Staceyann Chin! Is it bad I considered having a baby so I could meet her? Yeah, you're right, too much lol*

Friday Lustfulness

Its been a while since I've featured a beautiful woman on my site. So to set your weekend off right, here's someone I've been lusting after for a while. None other than the beautiful and intelligent Melissa Harris-Lacewell.

She first came to my attention when she murdered Gloria Steinem in a debate on Democracy Now! It was so beautiful she definitely represented for Black feminists everywhere. She's since been on Rachel Maddow and a million other places spreading her knowledge and beauty. You can catch her on her blog or follow her on Twitter, which I highly suggest...she's funny too! ::swoon::

Monday lust on Wednesday again

Late again, but this week I get my inspiration from Top Chef and no I'm not lusting after Carla, even though she has won over my heart. I'm lusting after the beautiful Padma Lakshmi.

Monday lust on Wednesday

Okay so as some of you may know my niece was born on Friday, so I haven't been able to post like I wanted to. Anyway so who am I lusting after on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and pretty much any day of the week. The beautiful Rosario Dawson.... let the drooling commence.

Monday lust

So in honor of her getting an Oscar nomination the subject of my monday lustfulness is the beautiful Tarajii P. Henson. She's soo fine! Has anyone seen The Curious case of Benjamin Button? It's definitely on my to see list.

Monday lust

Another Monday lust, I don't know if this is going to be a regular thing, but let's try, even though this is a late monday post but my Monday lust of this week is none other than the beautiful Zoe Saldana.

Monday lust

Because Laura Luna and QQ got me thinking about all these beautiful women I decided to post pictures, of one of the many loves of my life lol Michelle Rodriguez.

Kwanzaa with the Community

So last night I went to the Kwanzaa celebration at the gay and lesbian center in NYC. I wasn't sure if I was going to go at first. I didn't have the back up of one of my friends at first, but I decided that it was a chance to get out and be among other LGBT POC, and maybe meet a nice lady but that was secondary ;-) . Anyway when I got there it was absolutely packed and I got one of the most awkward spots in the whole place, right in the middle of an aisle. But, as I sit down I look up and I see Olive and Hanifah and damn near passed out. Hanifah was one of the first performers and not only did she tear the place up but she looked absolutely gorgeous. I was almost drooling. Then Olive talked about Kujichagulia, and I'm not gonna lie I was a little over zealous in my clapping i felt when she came on, so I was a little more subdued when she went off. But they seriously have to be the most beautiful couple ever. It's very rare that you think both people in the couple are hot, but that's besides the point, back to the celebration. The performers were amazing, but what I loved more than anything is that I know that when Maulana Karenga created Kwanzaa his idea of African people celebrating Kwanzaa didn't included LGBT people, but during the whole celebration the presenters continued to affirm us as Black people and as queer people and it was beautiful. It was so refreshing.

My only complaint was that it seemed a very Christian influenced program. I'm a Christian and I don't really have a problem with people talking about Jesus, but not everyone is Christian and that should be respected also. But actually the Christian presence actually really worked for me and made me feel comfortable. I've found myself uncomfortable lately in heavily Christian situations, and even in church and I couldn't figure out why. Last night made me realize that church wasn't a safe space for me anymore. It used to be I used to love being in church, but after I came out that went away because a lot of the negativity I heard and always feeling like an outsider. Then last night when I was the ultimate insider I felt completely safe. So its definitely a step forward for me. So all in all it was a great night, and I'm glad I went.

Call me, Queen Latifah! Call me

Since I feel like my posts have been a little angry lately. I figured its time for a light hearted post. So on Twitter (which I'm so obsessed with now). I was talking about my love for Queen Latifah, She was one of my first crushes. Unfortunately she's not out yet, but she's so fine I will be her closeted girlfriend. So if you start seeing her with a sexy woman with locs, and this blog goes silent. Don't blow up my spot, just let us live in peace. So here's for my wife the beautiful Queen Latifah.

Oh Queen we can be so happy you just have to call! lol

Beautiful women

You all know that I have a thing about Bald women, Black women in particular. So today my Sister in law's friend comes over and she is bald and absolutely gorgeous. I mean stunning! Now before you go and encourage me to say something you need to know that she is 100% straight, and I'm also ridiculously shy. I wish, that I was one of those studs, you know the ones who ooze sex appeal and confidence, because then I wouldn't care what her orientation is, and wouldn't be offended if she rejects me. But, I'm not so its up to me to just dream lol. So in honor of this gorgeous woman I just saw. Here are some more gorgeous women.

Dream

So a couple of nights ago I had this dream, I've forgotten a lot of it but what I do remember is a few details and general feelings and impressions from the dream. I don't really remember the set up but it was me and some other women together in this room. I have the feeling that they were older than me. We were coming together to do something for women, specifically women of color. I remember that we were lost at some point and weren't sure how to proceed. But, then we read something by Audre Lorde that stressed the importance of writing and the way that writing helped to heal the soul. In my dream I remember that we were specifically reading something of hers, and there was definitely the understanding that she was no longer with us. However, I also have the impression that she was there, that she was physically there reciting her words. I definitely had the feeling of peace, love and acceptance from her. What the dream left me with was that it was writing was imperative to the struggle of women of color. So now I feel like writing, and something else besides this blog and my academic work, but I don't know where to go from here.

Thank you Audre

J Hud

I'm trying to make up for my lack of posting over the last few months.

Clearly everybody has heard about the Jennifer Hudson's tragedy this past weekend. Now this news has really touched me, I feel so bad for her. As you all may know, I am in love with Jennifer Hudson. I think she's cool, beautiful, intelligent and genuine, so I clearly support everything she does. I just was listening to her album, which I highly recommend, and you can tell how much of herself she pours into all of her songs, and to her so much of her voice come through. I feel for her and her family even more. Its bad enough to lose your mother, brother and nephew, but to lose them all at once and in this horrible way is just devastating. I was talking to my best friend about her this past weekend and we both agreed that we feel like we knew her. I find myself wanting do something. I just don't understand how you just take someone else's life so carelessly and especially a child. Whoever did this is going to pay for it and not necessarily here in this lifetime.


I just hope that she finds comfort in this rough time

Please Stop Niecy Nash!

So a few weeks ago me and my sister got into an argument over Niecy Nash. We were watching Clean house and I was so bothered by her, I definitely felt like she was sort of mammyish. She was full of girlfriends, and honey and listen to mama. And I'm just tired of seeing Black women portrayed that way, especially by Black women. I recognize that that's her character and that's how she's making money but damn at what expense? I'm not saying that Black actresses have to all be Claire Huxtable but can we stay away from reinforcing stereotypes. My opinion was reinforced when I saw her on the Wendy Williams show. She seemed fairly cool but I was too through when I found out that she had creative licensce behind her character and particularly her appearance. Which is particularly a problem when it came to her red carpet outfit at the Hollywood premiere. She put on a prosthetic butt which she proudly showed off in a bathing suit. If this isn't reminisent of the Hottentot venus I don't know what is.


What's really horrible are all the comments under this picture. Some of the worst are

picho Mon, Jul 21, 2008 at 08:18 PM EST

I only watched the Reno movie because I saw her in a swimsuit in the trailer....I was completely erect whenever she was onscreen!! She has a fine-ass body!!

drools Fri, Jun 13, 2008 at 11:34 PM EST

my dick is so hard i was jacking off on her ass during the movie

mila Wed, Feb 21, 2007 at 12:39 AM EST

Hmmmm....they're right black IS better

Like I said I get it, you need to make money, but was it really necessary to do it at the detriment to all Black women? I saw a picture of her and her daughter and it was a very nice and sweet picture, but when her daughter is grown and some ignorant ass comes up to her and says some slick shit about her butt, or some dumb white girl comes up to her and says hey girlfriend. Will Niecy Nash feel at all culpable in perpetuating this image of Black women?

I fell in love Sunday Night

I just had the amazing pleasure of seeing Lenelle Moise in her play Expatriate. It was amazing, hands down the best play I've ever seen. The descriptions I've seen of the play don't do it justice. The play is more than the story of 2 women who leave the U.S. to escape all the various isms in the U.S. Its really about the very real and complicated relationship between 2 longtime friends Claudie and Althine. I absolutely fell in love with the main character Claudie. I identified with her so much minus lusting after the best friend. She was so real and troubled. I love how Lenelle Moise was able to show how someone can have a life's worth of baggage and issues and still manage to be a whole person. Then there is Althine who is such a familiar character. I feel like everyone has an Althine in their life. You watch Althine go down this self destructive path and you are rooting for her the whole time. the combination of supeb acting and amazing music completely pulled you in. The fusion of jazz, and jazz influenced music just captivated me. The play starred Lenelle Moise and also Karla Mosley who played Althine. Mosley was amazing (I know how many times can I use amazing, but there really is no other word to describe this play). Karla Mosley really owned the character of Althine she made you feel everything Althine was. I will give away that Althine does struggle with addiction, and Karla Mosley played the cracked out singer role so well I felt like I was watching Whitney Houston on Being Bobby Brown. I found myself sitting there and just wondering how I managed to see this amazing play. I wondered how did she create this piece. I love how Claudie is a Lesbian in the play and sexuality is definitely a large part of this work, but its not the only piece. It is not a tragic coming out story, or the same tired story of the poor lesbian forever lusting after her unsuspecting best friend.

Even though Karla Mosley was stunning, I have fallen completely in love with Lenelle Moise, seriously COMPLETELY in love with her. I love a strong intelligent beautiful woman, and Lenelle Moise is all that and more. She not only starred in the play but she also wrote and composed it. I was lucky enough to get a front row center seat for the play and at one point she glanced down and her eyes were piercing. I saw all the passion and emotion she brought to this role. I went on the night where there was a talk back session about Black Queer protagonists and when she came back out she literally took my breath away she was so stunning. I sat there and just soaked up everything she said. Afterward I shook her hand and I got a picture taken with her, but I get so star struck I couldn't say all I wanted to. I wanted to tell her how much this play touched me, even now its hard to describe. I've been really going through a rough time lately and battling some serious bouts depression, and seeing me reflected back not only in the play but in the wonderful example of a strong beautiful Black Queer woman that is Lenelle Moise, really made me feel so much better. She was so nice when I spoke to her briefly and incoherently (damn my starkstruckness!) I was so nervous I forgot to introduce myself and she asked my name and when she asked I was like why would you even care who I am. But, she is that down earth not just putting up with annoying fans. If stalking wasn't annoying, creepy, illegal and a real turn off I would so stalk her lol! If anyone is in the NYC area and wants to go, but doesn't want to go alone I will go with you, because if I bring its less stalkerish....right? lol
But in all seriousness she was able to put together such a beautiful piece of art that didn't just entertain me, but it touched me. Lenelle and Sharon Bridgeforth were talking about the importance of making positive life choices and choosing to be healthy, and I needed to hear that.
After going to this play I felt the way I do when I go to a U People event, I felt at home.

New Music

New Music!!

So I just discovered the wonderfulness that is Adele!

The UK is really doing there thing, Amy Winehouse, Leona Lewis and now Adele. As much as I love Amy Winehouse I think Adele might be gaining on her in my heart. Adele isn't completely strung out on drugs, doesn't have any racist videos circulating, she's beautiful, she's plus sized and can sing her ass off. I love when she was asked about losing weight she said she would lose weight when it began to interfere with her sex life!

So some of my favorite songs from her album are

Her big single Chasing Pavements



Right as Rain



Daydreamer, which is not only beautiful, but also written about her bisexual boyfriend who left her for a man. What I love is that it doesn't go the previous routes of bisexual men in r&b songs. Examples A & B. But enjoy a beautiful song



and hands down my favorite song on the whole album Melt my heart to stone.




Thanks again to the wonderful people at U People, I've again discovered another great artist Joy Denalane. The June mix by DJ Lunaceptive features a song by her not on her album called Torch of Freedom which is amazing! So I did research and absolutely love her whole album. She's talented, beautiful, and conscious. What more can you ask for?!
My favorites are

Heaven or Hell



Stranger in this land




Let Go





and Sometimes Love



She's German, and I wish I knew German because she sounds great. Here's a song of hers in German called Sag´s Mir.



I have no idea what she said but didn't it sound great?


She also represents for her South African roots in the song Soweto '76-'06. There's an English version on her Album Born and Raised, but here's the video from the German version but with subtitles.

Jurnee, Jurnee, Jurnee

I just watched the Great Debaters which was excellent by the way, but I was definitely distracted by the beauty that is Jurnee Smollett. You may remember her as the little girl from Eve's Bayou. This was her then

and this is her now

All I can say is DAMN she's beautiful! I may just have to invite her into my circle of Love. What is my circle of love you may ask? well its just the nice arrangement my many wives and I have, that allows us to all get along wonderfully.

Anyways more pictures of Jurnee is definitely required.


* now the pin up pic may not be the most progressive, but you can't deny how beautiful she looks*

Lenelle Moise

So I was working on this post about how I'm tired of being the gay kid at home, but then I got onto youtube thanks to Evolving, looking at videos of Lenelle Moise and OH MY GOODNESS! I'm in love! She's wonderful! She's also Haitian which makes my bootleg Haitian self happy. So instead of finishing that post today I'm gonna post some wonderful vids of Lenelle Moise. Madivinez is my new favorite word and now officially the 2nd word I know in Creole .