Sunday, January 14, 2007

Southern Comfort

Today I cried, and I don't cry. I cried because I watched this documentary on logo called Southern Comfort. Southern Comfort is about a man named Robert Eades who died from cancer because he was Transgendered and no one would treat his ovarian cancer. They told him that they weren't taking any new patients; they told him that he would make their other patients uncomfortable. No one would treat him because he was a Trans man. When he first transitioned he wanted to have a hysterectomy, but they said he didn't need it and he died because of it. No one cared whether he lived or died, but he was a wonderful man. I just saw how loving and caring he was and how he cared for so many others. In the documentary he kept talking about his chosen family he showed so much love and the ones who could help him didn't. He said he was turned down by 20 doctors. 20 doctors are responsible for his death, and no one will be held accountable, and even if they were it wouldn't change anything he's still gone, he didn't get to see his grandson grow up like he wanted to, he didn't get to marry his girlfriend. All because he was Trans and I'm just so angry, I can't stand to see this happen, and the worst part is that I know that he's not alone, and he probably won't be the last Trans person to die because no one would treat him. I hate how people like to get in to little arguments and grand discussions about another person's life. They like to discuss whether or not they think that it’s okay with them to be him. And I have to admit I'm guilty of the same thing, I used to think why do you have to have the surgery, but I was wrong it’s not up to me or anyone else.
Recently there was a whole huge discussion about Trans folks on several blogs and some said some really horrible things. I just want to know where the fuck to do you get off? These so called liberals, open minded individuals who would rather see people be hurt rather than be inconvenienced. They want to argue about whether or not they should be allowed to use the same bathrooms because they would be uncomfortable with someone of the opposite gender or even non distinguishable gender be in the same bathroom with them.
I've wanted to write this post for a while especially after I saw Beautiful Daughters about an all trans woman cast of the Vagina Monologues. I love the Vagina Monologues and I love how they always manage to tell the personal stories of the women and their lives. I watched this documentary I saw all of these beautiful women and just admired and appreciated them. We need to go beyond ridiculous conversations and remember that you're not discussing an issue, you are discussing people's lives and there are real consequences for this. Brownfemipower did a great job at calling people out on their shit; I just hope that we can improve as people if this world is ever to have any hope.


vegankid said...

that is sad. unfortunately, a little too common. my last partner suffered severely from something the doctors seemed unwilling to figure out (zi was told endometriosis and polycystic fibrosis). the one thing that would stop the constant pain, nausea, vomiting, cysts, excessive bleeding, and so forth was a hystorechtomy. which, being trans, my partner wanted. but NO ONE would do it. why? because zi was "still of childbearing age". that's what the doctors said. despite the fact that zi has no plans or desire to give birth (the plan was always to adopt), they would not do the one surgery that would help because they felt it was like some sort of pre-abortion abortion.

i'm sure it also had to do with zi's gender ambiguity (the binding, the sort hair, etc). instead of the hysterectomy, they insisted that HORMONES were the cure. being pre-med, my partner did zi's own research and found that hormones could in fact reverse the effects of endometriosis. but it would have to be testoterone. but no doctor was willing to prescribe testoterone either. even when zi said zi wanted it. there excuse this time, "it will cause facial hair". um, hello, who cares?!? let's see... facial hair or incessant bleeding and nausea? instead, they prescribe estrogen... and LOTS of it. the estrogen caused things to get even worse and soon enough, zi was in the hospital getting a cyst the size of a baseball removed.

for the doctors, it wasn't about helping a patient with their ailment, it was about helping them with what they saw as a mental disorder. they took it upon themselves to use the facade of the medical industry to enforce gender rules. that's fucked up.

deviousdiva said...

Very very sad.

I am sorry that people don't get it. I am no expert on transgender etc but I cannot understand this unwillingness to see a person as a person.

I know that sounds twee but that's all I can say. Good grief, it's so simple...if someone has ovarian or any type of cancer, you treat it!

Who freakin' cares about the rest ?
I'm so angry that this could happen.

I hope one day we can all be more....fucking human

“I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell.” ~Audre Lorde