Tuesday, April 22, 2008


So I've been thinking a lot about attraction lately. I used to be really into trying to figgure out my type, and I realized that I don't really have one, but I have started to notice some trends and some oddities. I think I like older women, and I do tend to go for more butch women, but I tend to not like too masculine. There needs to be a nice balance. But lately I've become more aware of what type of person I'm attracted to, and the nature of attraction in general.
A couple of situations have led me to understand my attraction more clearly. A couple of weeks ago I was at a mini conference and there was this woman who I was really attracted to. There was just something about her that I was drawn to and I have no idea what it was. It definitely wasn't her physical appearance, she was the epitome of not my type, whatever it is. But, there was something very appealing about her. There was something about her spirit that really drew me to her. It was definitely internal. I'm also working on my thesis and I'm focusing on Black Butch Lesbians and in order to gain data I've been using a lot of documentaries to bring in experience. So I watched Venus Boyz which wasn't really helpful as a whole except for two women, Dred and Storme Webber, and Storme more so than Dred because she always presents masculine. Anyways Storme again had that something about her, like I said before I tend to not like too masculine, but she was just so appealing. Both of the women that I spoke about before are considerably older than me. I just turned 24 and both of these women are well into their 40's. The woman I met at the conference I would never really try and talk to, but she was still attractive. Now Storme I'd holla with the quickness. She has such a quiet spirit about her, I'm surrounded by so many fake people and she seemed very real and grounded and to have a deeper understanding of everything. Maybe that's what I'm attracted to in older women, that they seem like they just get it.
This brings me to my latest little crush, Dr. G Love. I first saw Dr. G Love on the U People Vlog on After Ellen where they announced that she was going to have her own advice vlog. Last night they posted the first one, but its actually been taken down for some reason. Now Dr. G Love I do find attractive and she also has that grounded personality that I find so appealing. I don't know how much older than me she is, but damn! I was so impressed that I actually had a quite lovely dream about her that I shall be keeping to myself.

So when it comes to my type I'm still not sure what it exactly is, but the woman needs to be down to earth. She can't be to into her appearance, I'm not saying she needs to look like a bum, but not flashy not a lot going on. She just needs to be able to rock her natural beauty. NO HAIR WEAVES!! That is a deal breaker for me, I can deal with a perm, but if you've got a weave you've gone too far. I like natural women, she needs to care about the environment and the world in general. She needs to be culturally aware. There are a lot more characteristics that I can add, but I'm just going to stop here.

So what are you attracted to? Do you have a type? What is it?

shout out to Evolving for a good post on attraction that reminded me I needed to finish this one.

edit: they put the Dr. G Love video back up. Go check it out


QQ said...

Dr. G Love is hot.. and she looks like she is always happy about life..thats always one of those qualities that just pull you in.

Laura Luna said...

My Type...butches...ay HOT queer women of color butches! Agressive butches..butches who LOVE doing the whole butch/femme thing. Artistic butches...Academic Butches,

EvolvingContradiction7 said...

hmmm I am attracted to femininity in all dress, shapes and sizes. Labels mean nothing to me butch, femme, stud, ag, it really does not mean much to me. It really is the person. You know when you are in a classroom or like a conference like you were or work, anywhere really... There are people that you can see that are strong, and seem like they know who they are? Thats what I'm attracted to strong, wise, artistic, musical, educated, just down to earth womyn.

Thanks for the shout out!

T ;) said...

You know.... this is an interesting turn of events... Being someone that respects you so much... reading that YOU are attracted to older women somehow, in some odd way, helped me get over the fact that my soon to be ex is dating a much younger woman. I was mighty dissappointed at first, but... reading this reminds me that attraction and love for that matter... each individual defines and that is that. Thanks...

N said...

I absolutely love your page! Now...I must check out Dr. G Love. I have been out of the U People loop lately, but I'm definately going to find out what all the hype is about.

So, what's my type? I love all women, but "soft-butches" (for lack of a better label) tend to catch my eye. My wifee is considered that way. Love dreds. Love the athletic type...I find myself attracted to basketball players. Love artistic women. Women who play the guitar. Just women in general.

Great post!

“I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell.” ~Audre Lorde