Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Today while sitting in my room watching TV I hear 6 gun shots on my block. I'm just tired of it. Tonight I was scared, because my room is in the front of the house and I realized that a bullet could have come through my window. I guess things were different when I was younger maybe I didn't realize the danger, but I'm tired. I feel torn, because on one hand I understand that the problem with inner city neighborhoods is that those who can help leave, and they take their money with them. However, I don't know if I can continue to live in a neighborhood where I have to worry about guns and my house getting broken in to. I love the culture and sense of community in my neighborhood, but I can't handle the violence. I can't worry that my 13 year old daughter will be killed while sitting on her front porch. What am I supposed to do? I feel stuck, I don't want to leave but I don't want to stay. I just want the violence to stop. What outsiders fail to realize is that it isn't the whole neighborhood that's violent, but just a few. These few decide to terrorize our community with violence and drugs. My neighborhood is a community; there are people who genuinely care about each other. Some may say why don't you just call the cops, but it's not that simple. The drug dealer on the corner has a family and his son comes to play at your house. The crack head across the street used to be a good handy man. So it's hard to call the cops when the child first steals the bike, because you have his mother pleading with you, and you know the cops will not help at all. There is humanity behind the eyes of our young g’s, but as much as we love them the violence has just got to stop.
“I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell.” ~Audre Lorde