Thursday, September 13, 2007

Grad School is bad for my health

Its true, this past week I've had about two near breakdowns, why? Because grad school is bad for my health. The amount of stress to perform and perform well is agonizing. The constant negotiation of identity in spaces that were created so that people like you would not survive is sometimes too much. I felt completely overwhelmed by all of the shit I have to get done in order to become a PhD, even just a MA because damnit I have no other options. This is the only thing I love and also loathe. Its stressful, but when I see my research actually making a difference it seems like its worth it, until I get the next nasty look or slide comment from a professor. So Grad school is more than bad for my health its like a methadone, just an exchange of one drug for another, you'd like to be completely drug free but hopefully this will allow you to live a healthy and happy life. I don't know if I'm making any sense this has just been on my mind, and I wanted to post it. piece of advice STAY AWAY FROM GRAD SCHOOL!!

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“I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell.” ~Audre Lorde