This is a letter to my best friend, I've been trying to find the words to say to her, and I hope I can say this to her before she reads it but I just felt like sharing it with you all.
We joke and say that we're married but in reality we're like sisters. I am closer with you than with my entire family, I've told you things that I've never been able to say out loud before. When I am going through things you're the person I need to talk to work through whatever crisis I'm going through at the moment. That's how our relationship is, we lean on each other for support, I know I can trust you and you can trust me. With this said I hope that you can forgive me for keeping this secret from you, I wanted to tell you so many times but I couldn't find the words. It has not been an easy task to be going through such a huge a momentous change and not be able to talk to you about it, which is what I meant when I told you that you are hard to keep a secret from. You know me better than anyone so you know why realizing that I had more than friendship feelings for women has not been easy. For the past couple of months I've grappled with my feelings, I prayed everyday for them to go away, I prayed that the crazy religious right we're right and that this was a choice and I could chose another path, but I can't denying my feelings for women is denying me the chance to be a whole human being. I realized that I have always felt this way. That's why I've been journaling so much, and why I began this blog, I needed to get these feelings out someway; I needed them to be heard by someone other than myself. I thank God everyday for all of those who posted words of encouragement and shown me so much love, they have helped me come to the point where I feel like I can say I am a lesbian. As much as I know that you will be there to support me, I was still afraid that things would change, I was afraid that you'd begin to question everything I've ever said or done and wonder if I was trying to get with you, I just couldn't handle that. So now as my life is about to change forever, and I begin this journey to truly finding out who I really am, I need your support more than ever. This is me, this is who I am and I am nothing without my best friend.
your sister/best friend/ roommate/ wife ; )