Wednesday, July 04, 2007
on my mind...
So my dear friends in blog world I got a girl on my mind. Yes yes I know, its so unlike me to be thinking about women ;-) This girl is a friend of a friend who lives about 5 hours from me, and I've been talking to her everyday for several hours online, for about 3 weeks. We've both been out for about 1 year, we both care deeply about oppressed people and also come from religious backgrounds. We just really vibe! I really can't explain it any other way than we just vibe together. I really enjoy talking to her, and we flirt like crazy, I'm not gonna lie its pretty obvious. So while this may sound all well and good I'm not sure what I want from her or this whatever it is. This post is pretty pointless but its about 3 am she got offline early and I'm thinking about her. This is so frustrating, because like I said in a previous post we both are shy when it comes to romance, so neither one of us has said explicitly that we like each other, but I'm fairly confident that she likes me. My best friend told me to just ride it out, which I intend to but I'm obsessing over it now. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because I don't know if I want a relationship with her at this point in my life, but I'm growing frustrated with just riding it out.
“I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell.” ~Audre Lorde