"... That sense has completely passed away, as I have come to realize that that well of feeling was within me. I alone own my feelings. I can never lose that feeling because I own it, because it comes out of myself. I can attach it anywhere I want to, because my feelings are apart of me, my sorrow and my joy.
I would never have chosen this path, but I am very glad to be who I am, here."
I love that whole passage but especially that last part where she says I would never have chosen this path, but I am very glad to be who I am, here. How amazingly strong and self assured. Even through a horrible trying time, she was able to see through it all and cling on to her own sense of self. Beneath all of her pain, there was a deep love and acceptance of herself and every aspect of her. That's amazing, I know it's something I don't have yet, but hopefully I will be there one day. I'm beginning to realize that there is no sense in bemoaning where I'm at in my life or the many paths my life has taken me down, because beneath it all. I've always been me, and I need to learn to connect to myself more and not be side tracked by everything else, even my own feelings because they don't control me, I control my feelings.
Sigh I just love her, and I'm grateful for the revelations that came to me last night, hopefully someone out there will be similarly blessed.