Friday, February 13, 2009

Reconnecting

Hey look a real post!

I grew up with two sisters and an older brother. My mom has four kids so technically I'm not a middle child, but among my sisters I'm in the middle. But, my father had another daughter about a year and a half after my younger sister was born. The first time I met her, I was 7 and she was 3. We took pictures in the hallway of her mother's apartment and then we left. That was also the first time I heard about her. The next time I saw her she was 12 and all about N'Sync and the Backstreet boys. Now that I'm older I decided to look her up and I found her on facebook (who says facebook is pointless). I sent her message after she added me and we've been talking back and forth trying to get to know eachother, and I feel good about it. She's so young and just cute she tells me about her day and her plans for the weekend.

I'm hopeful about our relationship, but what scares me is I'm not out to anyone on my father's side. I practically never see them and the only one I really care about is my grandmother and she's old and very catholic and I don't want to risk being disowned in her final years. So now I'm wondering how to proceed with my sister, you can begin to assume that I'm gay from my facebook page, and I want to have an open honest relationship with her, but I don't want to be out to my father's side who she's closer with. So I'm not sure how to proceed, but for now I'm enjoying being reconnected with my sister.

1 comment:

QQ said...

I can totally relate to this post and this situation. My half sister (on my father's side) is 9 yrs older than I am and we really didn't start talking until my 2nd yr of undergrad. I was sooo nervous to tell her I was gay bc that side of my family is SUPER religious (They are Witnesses) But we got to know each other really well and when I finally told her she just shrugged it off.

I say don't think about it too much..just enjoy your sister. If she figures it out from your pictures, or asks you..then that's just what happens. And if you aren't ready for her to know and you don't tell her..that's ok too.

“I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell.” ~Audre Lorde