Friday, August 07, 2009

Reclaiming me

I'm in the process of reclaiming me. This past year I've been really in a funk and not doing what I need to do and what I know to do. I've let a lot of things that I consider intrinsic to who I am slip away. I've given up fighting and surrendered to every negative thought that's cross my mind. I realize that I'm not clear on exactly who I am and even my picture of who I want to be has contaminated, but still I've stopped moving in any direction. I've just curled up in the fetal position in a corner and prayed that all the bad stuff would be gone when I woke up. There's still a lot I have to deal with and process, but not so willing to lay down and give in anymore. I'm really trying to reclaim some space in my life that isn't dedicated to family, friends and other people and just making some me space. I'm trying to make an altar but I have no idea how. But I'm really trying to make some changes in my life, and blogging again is a part of that. So that's all I have to say for now, but I'm really gonna try and blog more. I miss this space.

I'm really feeling this song by Maya Azucena right now

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“I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell.” ~Audre Lorde